


To be jealous

by lifelongpotterhead



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Angst, Fix-It, I Tried, M/M, bucky sees steve kiss sharon and it kills him, i finished this at 1 in the morning so the ending is awful, probably my first and last fix it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 05:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6788005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifelongpotterhead/pseuds/lifelongpotterhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky sees Steve kiss Sharon. He wishes it was him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To be jealous

Bucky sat in the back of Steve’s car, shifting uncomfortably as he waited for Steve to get his shield and Sam’s bird suit. The car was very small, and his head brushed against the roof. His legs were pressed up against his body, and he was incredibly uncomfortable in it. 

“Can you move your seat up?” He asked Sam, who was staring just as intently at Steve and the girl as he was.

“No,” Sam responded, knowing that he was being irritating. Bucky fought the urge to roll his eyes and pushed himself into the middle of the seat, where he was better able to spy on Steve.

Steve was talking to a blonde girl, and he had a nostalgic and love struck expression on his face. Bucky felt a surge of anger, wishing that look could be directed at him. 

Suddenly, Steve leaned down and pressed his lips to the girl’s. Bucky felt his stomach clench, and tears sprung to his eyes. He had thought that he was special to Steve. Of course, it was idiotic to think that Steve would still care about him that much after over 70 years, but he had hoped. Finishing the kiss, Steve glanced over at them. Sam nodded at him, and Bucky tried to fake a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes. 

Steve began to walk back to the car with their equipment, a smile on his face. Bucky felt as though there was ice in his veins. He might as well have been back in the cryo tubes. He opened the door and handed his shield and the bird suit to Sam, looking quite content. It was the first time since all the shit had started between the Avengers, and Bucky felt another surge of jealousy and heartache. 

“She was so similar to Peggy, it was like having her back again,” Steve spoke, the stupid smile never leaving his face. Bucky wanted to punch it off of him. 

Sam raised his eyebrow. “You do realize that they aren’t the same person, right?” He questioned, sounding concerned.

“Yeah, I know. But they are so similar…” He trailed off, and Bucky was worried that he had forgotten where he was. Steve had a dreamy look in his eyes, as though he wasn’t really there. Sam waved his hand in front of Steve’s face, but only got a response when he began to repeat Steve’s name.

“You okay, Stevie?” Asked Bucky, not wanting his friend to get lost in memories. He knew how dangerous it could be to get lost in the tragedies of one’s past. It could mess with his perception of reality or drive him insane. 

“Yeah Buck,” He whispered, the wistful look still gracing his features. Bucky knew that Steve was lying. He was thinking of Peggy, not Sharon. Bucky was no less jealous, but slightly more concerned. “I think I’m going to put my uniform on before we leave. We might run into some trouble.”

Sam began to put his birdsuit on, and handed Steve his shield and uniform. When Steve began lifting up his shirt, Bucky looked away, knowing that he could never have what was beneath his clothes. He felt his face burn with the desire to look, but managed to control himself. He stared at his metal arm, reminding him that he was a killer, that he didn’t deserve Steve. He clenched his fist, forcing himself to stare at it and not Steve. 

By the time he looked up again, Steve had already begun to drive towards their next destination. 

They eventually met up with the rest of the people who agreed with Steve. There was a girl named wanda, some guy named Clint, and another man whose name he didn’t know. Bucky knew there was about to be a fight. Stark was nearby, and there was no way he would let Bucky escape. Steve could die in the conflict; Stark was out for blood.

Bucky’s eyes widened at this horrific epiphany. He could lose Steve and never have the chance to kiss him or tell him how he felt. Steve could die thinking of Peggy, and that thought made Bucky irrationally angry. 

They were about to walk to the airport, and Bucky found that he had lost the last shreds of his self control. He suddenly spun around in front of Steve and pulled Steve towards him, pressing their lips together. He felt Steve stiffen, and immediately backed away, mourning the loss of the feeling of Steve’s warm lips against his. He couldn’t bear to look Steve in the eyes, and turned back around to continue walking whilst sputtering apologies. He hoped they could forget it ever happened. Maybe he could die and he wouldn’t have to live with Steve hating him. 

Steve then pulled Bucky into another kiss, and his eyes widened before he allowed himself to relax into Steve and enjoy it. Eventually, they had to break for air. Bucky looked at Steve, confused.

“I don’t actually love Sharon, and I have always wanted to do that. She is nice, but I have always loved you,” He admitted with a smile. “Now come on. Let’s go find Stark.”


End file.
